Rumor has it that PM Shinzo Abe has accepted trump’s request for chicken-shit political asylum and has built him a lovely little cottage about a mile off Fukushima surrounded by a self sustaining veggie garden, a chicken coop and all the free fishing he’ll need. They could not, unfortunately, supply him with cheetos or a gold toilet.

Additionally, there was a warning issued by Japan’s Health Dept. requesting that both citizens and tourists avoid, at all costs, eating any sushi or sashimi tinged with an orange color for the next 12 months.