Allan, you certainly had the right idea trying to get Trumpet’s toupee to fly of his swelled head in fury with one of your tweets. I’m sure the Ken Burns one will send him to his gold toilet with a real case of the runs, glaring, simultaneously, into his iPhone with his pants around his ankles, trying to create a really, really mean tweet back to you, even giving you a nickname. He’s already used RocketMan but maybe … he’ll… oh, I don’t know! His vocabulary is so limited. He’d probably just call you FunnyMan.

Since I spend a fair amount of time on Twitter, I began to feel jealous that so many people were bragging they had been blocked by @RealDonaldTrump and I had not been blocked after literally years of sending him insulting tweets. Tweeting ugly pics of him. Tweeting profanities each time he put his big fleshy foot in his mouth, or one of his tiny fingers up his ass. I thought maybe I didn’t have enough followers…but more than 7k was a pretty good number. So then I thought I probably wasn’t famous enough, but others who were blocked were just regular people like me. So I began to think that perhaps he has a masochistic streak and he likes to be insulted.

The fact that Donald Trump refused to block me on Twitter, ignoring my hateful Tweets kept me up at night. I began to lose weight. I thought of leaving Twitter. I thought and worried and analyzed…

Then finally… finally, I said to myself… Nah! After all of my Trump Twitter angst, I simply concluded… he’s just an incompetent asshole who can’t read big words! End of story.

Thanks, Allan, for your continuing ability to keep us laughing every morning in these really dark times. We all love you for it. You are our Trump antidote!